She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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