you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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