What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
