I have demons in me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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