Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
