So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
