You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
