I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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