just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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