She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
