six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
