Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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