Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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