Capitaan dildo arrescate!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
