I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
