Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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