you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
