I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
