Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize