so explain again why im purple
no
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
