Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Be still, my beating vagina.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
