your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
