Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
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on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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