so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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