Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
