Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
