The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
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