maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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