her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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