i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
