i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
