Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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