Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
