I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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