im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize