Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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