I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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