she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
