ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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