just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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