afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
