And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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