she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
