We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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