So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We had sex on a dog bed..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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