So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
