A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
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Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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