I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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