The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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