It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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