hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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