I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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