This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
