i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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