Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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