I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
