I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
